if only

I was walking this morning and the hot temperature was slowly dehydrating me. I did not know there was a strike going on, so I moved forward to catch a ride until I passed by my Alma Mater. I had lots of wonderful memories on that school that I miss doing, but I also had memories that were better off as memories. Just as my feet was taking me a few meters away, lot of things were flashing on my brain. I wish I could ride a time capsule instead of a jeepney. I felt wanting to go back a part of my history instead of heading my way home.

If only I did not cut my morning mass ritual, I would have been more closer to God.
If only I did not get tired of kneeling to pray the rosary, I would have saved lots of souls in purgatory.
If only I stuck with my original plan of proceeding BSA, I would have been a full-fledged CPA.
If only I studied harder, I could have graduated cum laude.
If only I did not take summer classes last 2004, I could still be wearing the earrings and ring my parents gave me.
If only I did not take that same summer class, I could have understood more of auditing problems.
If only I behaved well, I could not have been reprimanded by the SAS office because of PDA.
If only I did not sleep when I was in the library, I would be a genius.
If only I was confident enough, i could have won my table tennis match.
If only I joined the theater guild or school paper, I could have honed my acting and writing skills.
If only I had read the books I compiled, I would not miss the lessons it could teach me.
If only I took up another degree or enrolled in law school, I could not have wasted my four years.
If only I was not too obedient, I would not become rebellious.
If only I had lived each day meaningfully, I would be the happiest man on earth.
If only I was strong, I would not tear apart.

If only....

Time passes by so fast and it is useless to worry in vain. I could have done more, yes I know. The least I could do is to make the most out of my remaining time and resources. I cannot freeze time, but I'll catch up.. promise!