the face-off

The month of April is nearly over. It has been a long time since I seek refuge with my monologue. For the past two weeks, a lot of nerve wracking heart jumping sequence of events have occurred. It's the ex-gf thing again...dealing with it... getting rid of it...even understanding it. I'm also an ex of someone and our story also has finally ended. As I've said with my older post, I still can't figure the good in goodbye when it becomes a must. She has a bf at the present time and her ex is my Rodel. I did not dig deep what had transpired during their six years of on and off. All I know, they were no longer a couple when I entered his world. Rodel keeps on receiving text messages and calls. Bottom line, she still loves my man and won't give up. For me, she should have been cautious with that cool-off at the first place. Rodel and I just reserved for our future house and lot and here she comes haunting us..cursing us...I have been praying for her peace and happiness. This is true. I'm not a bad person as what others might think. I have been controlling myself not to be bitchy. She has been calling my house constantly spying I guess. Even if she won't utter a word, I know it is her on the other line. I feel sick, nauseated specifically. Rodel concluded I may have a GERD, but little did he knew it was more of my mental and emotional state. I am stressed and my gastritis is acting up again. It is killing me slowly. The two will have their talk a few minutes from now...or maybe they are already talking. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they will settle their issues, past and present. May they forgive each other and set each other free from whatever keeps them moving on. I'm praying also for myself to be strong. May Rodel and I be totally free.